woopie pies and rubber chickens of doom
by hiddenlotuselee
Summary: a random story I wrote durng my mid-terms. very disterbing, a few swares, and mickle jackson


Ok before you read I just want to say this. When I was done with one of my exams I couldn't think of a new story. So this is the result of asking one of my friends. So enjoy mine and my friends' insanity.

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Lee was running around the village one morning. He was doing 5,000 laps for his training until he heard something.

"Ho ho ho." Lee instantly stopped and looked around.

"Holy shit it is Santa!" he yelled when he saw Orochimaru dressed as Santa. But Lee, thanks to Gai, is stupid so he didn't know it was Orochimaru. He jumped around in joy and then ran at him. He jumped into his lap and some how kicked 'Santa' in the stomach in the process.

"Santa what are you doing here in the middle of July!?" Lee yelled as Orochimaru held his stomach in pain. "Oh well! I want new spandex, new weights, new numbchuks, a puppy, a pony, a pretty princess doll…" Lee kept going as he pulled out a five mile long Christmas list.

(Two hours later)

"world piece, another pony, a jar of pickles; they are youthful by the way, Naruto DVDs, Naruto manga, Neji's death, peanut butter…"

"Shut up!" Orochimaru yelled. "Kabuto!" suddenly Kabuto jumped out dressed as an elf. Lee and Orochimaru stared at him.

"You made me wear this!" He yelled.

"Quit wining and knock him out!"

"Fine." Kabuto pulled out a baseball bat and waked Lee over the head with it. It broke in half and Lee glared at him while rubbing the back of his head.

"OW! What the heck! Is it bleeding? No but Ow that was so unnecessary and…" Lee shut up when Kabuto cast his sleeping genjutsu on him.

"Why didn't you do that before?" Orochimaru asked.

"Well you see…"

"Shut up no one cares." Orochimaru interrupted and shoved Lee into him. "Now tie him up and put him in the slay."

"But…"

"Don't argue with me!"

Kabuto sighed and did as he was told. Orochimaru ripped off his costume and started laughing in a creepy way. Then he spun around and glared at something.

"Mickle Jackson what are you doing here?!" he yelled at Mickle Jackson. I have no idea how to spell his name and nether does my computer apparently.

"Just playin' with the little boys." He replied in a creepy voice.

"No they're mine! Kabuto!"

"I'm busy!" Kabuto yelled.

"To bad!"

Kabuto sighed and went to go fight Mickle Jackson. But once Lee hit the ground he woke up.

"Huh?" he stood up and looked around to see Orochimaru and Mickle Jackson. He freaked out when he fully registered this.

"OMG! Unyouthful pedophiles!" he yelled and grabbed a rubber chicken from the slay thing.

Meanwhile Kabuto beat Mickle Jackson but bitch slapping him.

"There now can I…" he started before they were attacked by Lee with a rubber chicken.

"I see what you are trying to do!" he yelled like a psychopath. "You were going to tie me down and touch me and do unyouthful things while saying it is youthful! But it is not! It is all a lie! IS IT NOT GAI-SENSEI!" Lee then began attacking and destroying things while laughing like a crazy person.

"Sasuke quick stop him! I can **not **let him destroy the village before me!" Orochimaru yelled. Sasuke stepped out from behind a building dressed like an elf like Kabuto.

"Well seeing as you made me wear this…No." Sasuke replied as he crossed his arms.

"I'll give you these." Orochimaru said as he held up a box of woopie pies. Sasuke unfolded his arms and suddenly looked like some three year old retarded chibi. He grabbed the box and ran off to fight Lee.

Sasuke you basted I…" Lee was cut off as Sasuke threw a woopie pie at his face. Lee wiped it off and glared at him.

"You have dishonored my face." Lee said while moving his mouth like he was in a cheesy Kung fu movie.

"No your face dishonors us both." Sasuke said in the same way.

"You will pay!"

"Bring it on!" Sasuke lifted his hand and made a bring it on gesture.

Lee started moving his mouth and looked like he was saying a lot. But when he stopped the only word he said was "fine!" he tried to slap Sasuke with his chicken but it was blocked by a woopie pie.

"Very good but…" lee was cut off as he was hit by a woopie pie.

"Ok now it's just stupid." Sasuke said annoyedly.

"Your face is stupid!" Lee yelled and slapped Sasuke with his chicken. Sasuke glared at him and took a few steps back.

"That's it! I'll kill you with my new technique." He yelled as he grabbed a handful of woopie pies. Then it was surrounded by his chidori.

"Now witness the power of my woopiedori!" Sasuke said in a crazy voice. Then he ran forward and jabbed Lee in the chest. But sadly the woopiedori wasn't that strong and only knocked Lee out.

"I still need to perfect it." Sasuke said as he stared at his chocolate covered hand. "But when I do I will kill you Itachi! For I am an avenger!" he yelled before he was hit with another rubber chicken.

"Shut the hell up!" Itachi yelled and walked away. Sasuke quickly grabbed his box only to find his woopie pies were gone.

"No. Nooooo! My woopie pies!" Sasuke yelled as he fell to his knees. "I needed those!"

While Sasuke was having and emo attack Orochimaru and Kabuto were watching.

"Can I have some popcorn?" Kabuto asked when he saw Orochimaru had some popcorn.

"No." Orochimaru replied as he put it in his robe. "Now lets go." He pulled out a large woopie pie and waved it at Sasuke. Sasuke looked over his shoulder and crawled over to him.

"That woopie pie. It would be perfect for beating Itachi!" he said excitedly and grabbed it.

"Good boy." Orochimaru said with a perverted grin.

"What about me?" Kabuto asked sadly.

"No! You let the big eye browed boy get away." He replied before he poofed away with Sasuke.

"I hate my life." Kabuto wined as he poofed away to. Lee woke up soon after and looked around.

"What a strange dream." He whispered as he stood up. "I need to stop taking naps in the street." He then went back to training.

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Yes I know it's probably disturbing. And I apologize to any one who is a fan of any of these people or Mickle Jackson…but any way. **Do not **make fun of my woopiedori. I called it that to be funny.


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